Three guys from Mississippi were kidnapped by a terrorist, who said he would try and give them one last wish before he killed them.

The first guy, a Miss. State grad, said he'd "love to hear his MSU cowbell ringing just one more time."

The second guy, an Ole Miss grad said he'd love to hear "Hotty Toddy" just one more time before he died.

The third guy, a Southern grad, stood up and yelled "KILL ME FIRST!"

         Submitted by               Linda Carpenter Satcher, "80
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Biff and Buffy, Two Ole Miss students were bragging on campus one day after completing a jigsaw puzzle that took them nearly 2 years to put together.  Another student says..."It took you almost 2 years to put that blasted puzzle together...and you're proud of that?  Damn right we are!  It said on the box "up to 4 years!"

Bubba told his mother, "Momma!  I want to be a Bulldog when I grow up!"  His Mom answers, "Bubba you're just talkin' nonsense... you know, you can't be both."
                               Submitted by
                               Michael Engle '94
Q.  Did you hear about the big power outage at the Ole Miss'
Student Union before the game? 
A.  Fifty Rebel fans were stuck on the escalator for nearly 3 hours!
Submitted by  USM Man

Q.  How do you keep a Houston Cougar off your yard?
A.  Mark off an End Zone!

Q.  What does a MSU grad say to a USM grad?
A.   "Thank you for shopping K-Mart!"

Q.  What do they call a personal computer at TCU?
A.  An Etch-A-Sketch

Q.  How do they define "safe sex" at MSU?
A.   Seperating the animals that kick from the ones that don't!   Submitted by USM1

Q.  What do you call a person from U of L in a three piece suit?
A.   The defendantSubmitted by UT Fan

Q.   What do you call Bulldog fan with drool flowing from both sides of his mouth?
A.   A well set double-wide.Submitted by JimRen

Q.   What do you get if you drive slowly throught the Tulane campus?
A.   A degree Submitted by KDSan

Q.  How do you compliment a Memphis fan?
A.  Nice ToothSubmitted by Jones Co. Eagle

Q.  Why do TCU graduates hang their diplomas from the rear view mirror?
A.  To justity their handicap parking.

Q.   Why do students at U of L go to the movie theater in groups of 18? 
A.   'Cuz 17 and under are not admitted.

Q.   What's the difference between a Louisville alum and a an Memphis alum?
A.   The good Memphis alum raises livestock. The Louisville alum gets emotionally involved.

Q.  How many Ole Miss freshmen does it take to change a light bulb?
A.  None...That's a second year course.

Q.  Why do FSU wide-receivers wear wrist bands?
A.  To keep the handcuffs from chafing.

Q.   What is Maroon and White, 100 yards long, and has three teeth?
A.   The front row at an MSU football game.
Submitted by K Bogle

Q.   How do you seperate the men from the boys at Ole Miss?
A.    With a crowbar! Submitted by Michael Engle '94

Q.    Why did the Ole Miss Coach go to the bank?
A.    To get his quarterback.  Submitted by SOMISSONE

Q.   How did the MSU student die from drinking milk?
A.   The cow sat on him!Submitted by JRenahan

Q.   What do you call a good looking woman on the Mississippi State Campus?
A.   VisitorSubmitted by DRBall

Q.   What is a MSU fan's idea of a seven course meal?
A.   A six pack and a possum.Submitted by DRBall

Q.   What is an Ole Miss martini?
A.   A beer with a buggar in it!     Submitted by GGunn3

Q.   How do you get a BAMA grad off your door step?
A.   Pay him for the pizza.  Submitted by Jones Co. Eagle

Q.   Why did Ole Miss hire Cutcliffe as their head coach?
A.   He is the only one that spelled his name right on the application!   Submitted by Seymour 316

Q.   What do you call an MSU student who owns a cow and a horse?
A.   Bisexual

Did you hear that the Miss State President's mansion burned down?
Damn near took out the whole trailer park!

Q.   Why did God invent armadillos?
A.   So that TCU fans can have 'possum on the                     halfshell.

Q.   Why doesn't the Tulane Football Team have a web site?
A.   They can't string three W's together. is not affiliated with the University of Southern Mississippi.  It was created and registered on the 10th of May 1999 for the personal enjoyment of of the Golden Eagle Nation.
A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is an Ole Miss fan.  She asks her students to raise their hands if they are Ole Miss fans too.  Not really knowing what an Ole Miss fan was, but wanting to be liked by their teacher, their hands fly into the air. 

There is, however, one exception.  A little girl named Janet has not gone with the crowd.  The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different.  "Because I'm not an Ole Miss fan" she reports.  "Then," asks the teacher, "what are you?"  "I'm a proud Southern Miss Fan," the girl said!  The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red.  She asks Janet why she is a Southern Miss Fan? 

"Well, my Dad and Mom are Golden Eagle fans, so I'm a Golden Eagle fan too," she responds.

The teacher is angry now.  "That's no reason,"  she says loudly.  "What if your Mom was a moron, and your Dad was an idiot.  What would you be then?"

Janet smiles and says,  "Then I'd be an Ole Miss fan."
  Submitted by
Labor Day Girls "80-84"
Just try to right click on me
A Cardinal fan and an Eagle fan were in the men's room "taking a leak." 

When they were finished, the Cardinal heads to the sink to wash his hands and the Eagle starts to head out the door.  The Cardinal yells  out "Hey, Eagle, where I come from we're taught to wash our hands!"

The Eagle yells back, "Hey Card, where I come from we don't PISS on ourselves!"

                          Submitted by                                                                   CFThompson III
Did you hear about Mississippi State getting put on probation by the NCAA for rules violations?

There punishment is they have to start Madkin at QB for two more years!

                                                   Submitted by Bart Gavin
Directions to MSU...
North until you smell it... East until you step in it!
A Rebel, a Bulldog, and an Eagle are walking along the beach one day.  They come across an old lantern and a Genie pops out of it.
"I'll give you each one wish...for releasing me from the latern,"  says the Genie.
The Bulldog says, I am studying to be a farmer...I want my land in the Delta to be forever fertile.

FOOM!  "It is done," says the Genie.
The Rebel says...I love Oxford and I want a wall around it to keep out the trash...if you know what I mean."

FOOM! "It is done," says the Genie.
The Eagle says...Genie, I am curious about this wall...can you tell me more about it?
The Genie explains..."Well, it is 150 feet high, 50 feet thick and nothing can get in or out."
The Eagle says..."Fill it up with water."
A USM student was going home from school on the train and noticed another student sitting in the seat in front of him.  The student said to the other student, "you go to Ole Miss, huh?"  The other student answered smuggly, "Yeah, I go to Ole Miss.  How did you know, was it the alligator shoes?"  "No." the USM student replied.  "Maybe it was the Rolex watch, or this expenive suit I'm wearing?"  the Ole Miss guy asked.  "It's not that either," the USM guy said.  "Then, what was it?", The Ole Miss guys shouted.  The Southern Miss student looked at him and said, "I saw your class ring when you were picking your nose."

Submitted by                          DRBall
Tulane grads ask...
"Why does it work?"

ECU grads ask...
"How does it work?"

Memphis grads ask...
"How much is it?"

Louisville grads ask...
"want fries with that?

Submitted by D R Ball
Golden Eagle Humor
It's college week on "Jeopardy!"  Students from Southern Miss, Mississippi State and Ole Miss are participating in the first episode.

The Southern Miss student wins the right to pick first and picks Spelling for $200.  The opening round goes something like this...

Alex Trebek: The answer is... He wrote "A Midsummer Night's Dream".

(Southern player buzzes in)

Alex: Bill

Bill: Who is Shakespeare?  S-H-A-K-E-S-P-E-A-R-E

Alex: Correct.  Pick again.

Bill: Spelling for 400.

Alex: The answer is... Vermont's capital city.

(MSU player buzzes in)

Alex: Laura?

Laura: What is Montpelier?  M-O-N-T-P-E-L-I-E-R

Alex: Yes and you're in command of the board.

Laura: Let's stay with Spelling for 600.

Alex: Answer... Word that complete the quotation, "Old McDonald had a..."

(Ole Miss player buzzes in)

Alex: Yes, Buford?

Buford: Uhhh... What is farm?  E-I-E-I-O

Submitted by
Doug Morris '95
An Ole Miss football player, who was an avid equestrian fan, was almost killed in a tragic horseback-riding accident.  He was thrown off the hourse and nearly trampled to death...  Had it not been for the manager of the Oxford Super Wal-Mart who came out and unplugged it.

The U of L football team was being tutored one day in a remedial english class and the professor asked the team..."Does anyone know what comes after a sentence?" 
Every player reponded with pride. 
"Sure...The appeal!"                                     Submitted by
                                  Submitted by
                                  USM Fan
Q.  What's the difference between a toilet and a U of L sorority girl?

A.  A toilet doesn't follow you around after you use it!

Submitted by
Rob H.  '87

Did you hear about what they are doing with the Mississippi football teams?  They have decided to make a super-football team and combine MSU, Ole Miss, and USM.  They are going to take USM's offense, Ole Miss' defense, and MSU's bus!
-Jonathan Gasper
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